I dreamed I was in Strasberg, though it was a stage I had never seen before. I was watching Mauricio in this major movie, he was playing a cross dressing queen oh so well. And then I was in strasberg, alone, thinking about how much I wanted to be on the stage working on the great plays of all time. I want to work on the classics, the best of the best now. And I battled this angry monster thing, mostly by supplicating myself. Getting very low so the beast could walk over me or I would but heads wit it. But to be above it didn't work. I am so excited to get back into the theater!!!!
Then we were in class, and I think robert castle was teaching. I picked him the last second. I wish he was still there. And the class was there with lots of people I knew and who knew me. Everyone wanted to work with me. Luz wanted to do Chris, these twins wanted me to do something. Someone else classical. I was so ready to be the center of my own learning.
I am the center of my growth. I am going to be small so I can be very large and enjoy my talent.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Half Awake, Nov. 2
Last night was a bad nights sleep. I slept at Britani's where I always have weird dreams. This time, Andrew was to my left and Britani to my right. Before going to bed, I drank some Damion Leaves or something which is supposed to help you sleep. Then, when I tried to sleep, I couldn't get there, though I had been tired.
At first I dreamed of protecting my friends, it wasn't entirely deliberate. But then I got to a half sleep for the rest of the night, it wasn't that good. I kept communicating with outside voices, images, and feelings. The most vivid memory was Andrew's voice telling me that he only needs the bottom few chakrahs of his body to be asleep and the rest can be awake. It was very clear, the rest of him. Britani was talking and other people were coming in and out of the room, but there intentions and meanings are not remembered.
At first I dreamed of protecting my friends, it wasn't entirely deliberate. But then I got to a half sleep for the rest of the night, it wasn't that good. I kept communicating with outside voices, images, and feelings. The most vivid memory was Andrew's voice telling me that he only needs the bottom few chakrahs of his body to be asleep and the rest can be awake. It was very clear, the rest of him. Britani was talking and other people were coming in and out of the room, but there intentions and meanings are not remembered.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Living in Unity 10/31
I have been having a lot of dreams about water. A couple days ago, I had two sets of dreams where I got the shit beat out of me too. That wasn't cool. I like being the hero enforcer.
Last night, the last dream I had, I am only going to tell part of it. I was at some conference and I had been hired to be part of this team to perform this christian or morality play, like the motivational ones you do for high school students. But, there was a problem because it was raining, I'm not sure why. So I suggested improv. I also came up with some really great ideas on the spot and everyone was pretty impressed, including this group of christian girls and guys who were on there way to Vegas for another convention.
The idea I had for a movie is what I want to get at. Two brothers, have different dads, and both dads have left a long time ago. Its a movie about there struggle to climb to the top without any help from anyone else. They rely on each other, but they also compete a lot. There mother is practically MIA anyway, and the rest of there family that they live with are crazy. I like it as a coming of age story, and I think I'm supposed to write it. Its my new project.
Last night, the last dream I had, I am only going to tell part of it. I was at some conference and I had been hired to be part of this team to perform this christian or morality play, like the motivational ones you do for high school students. But, there was a problem because it was raining, I'm not sure why. So I suggested improv. I also came up with some really great ideas on the spot and everyone was pretty impressed, including this group of christian girls and guys who were on there way to Vegas for another convention.
The idea I had for a movie is what I want to get at. Two brothers, have different dads, and both dads have left a long time ago. Its a movie about there struggle to climb to the top without any help from anyone else. They rely on each other, but they also compete a lot. There mother is practically MIA anyway, and the rest of there family that they live with are crazy. I like it as a coming of age story, and I think I'm supposed to write it. Its my new project.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Big Scare, Party, and School 10/21
The first dream I can remember, and The Big Scare was in like every single one, I was in the old Sacred Heart Elementary, but it was like an acting school. I was acting on the stage, and I was also explaining to all the students how to do it well. Then, I rolled out some red carpets, helped set up some chairs, and there was a procession, with lots of us in animal suits. I stood on the floor with Dave of The Big Scare and a bunch of "bears" stood behind us. When we bowed to the audience he said we were being respectful to the bears. This dream makes some sense if you realize Dave is a sweat lodge shaman.
Second dream was a big party on an empty floor of a high rise in NYC. No one was supposed to know we were there though, and people were openly smoking pot and stuff. My friend and I went up a stairway to try to be more discreet, but we kind of bumped into someone's very large well decorated condo, so we turned around, but by then the cops were already there. I used my substantial psychic ability to try to communicate to everyone there that the cops were coming and to get out. Later I found the cops had shut down all but one elevator, so I used my mind powers to lead people to the exits. It was pretty cool. Once I went back up the elevator to get some people and this guy who had tats and looked like an NYPD was on the elevator and I asked him where he was from and what job he was doing so they wouldn't think I was trying to save people, and he was real friendly, and he said, "A Doctor."
Then I kept going back to sleep for some time, and listening to the Big Scare in my head.
Second dream was a big party on an empty floor of a high rise in NYC. No one was supposed to know we were there though, and people were openly smoking pot and stuff. My friend and I went up a stairway to try to be more discreet, but we kind of bumped into someone's very large well decorated condo, so we turned around, but by then the cops were already there. I used my substantial psychic ability to try to communicate to everyone there that the cops were coming and to get out. Later I found the cops had shut down all but one elevator, so I used my mind powers to lead people to the exits. It was pretty cool. Once I went back up the elevator to get some people and this guy who had tats and looked like an NYPD was on the elevator and I asked him where he was from and what job he was doing so they wouldn't think I was trying to save people, and he was real friendly, and he said, "A Doctor."
Then I kept going back to sleep for some time, and listening to the Big Scare in my head.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Female Jail Robber, Alligators in a Strange Town, 10/20
Normal dreams for the most part. Lets see, I can remember I was in a strange town. My grandfather owned a nice property on the outskirts of it, and a poorer family lived on a smaller house on the property. I went down to take a look at it. It was small but not bad. Surrounded on the outside by someone elses' field. There was also a small water moat/canal thing on the outside of it. And i looked out the window while talking to the oldest son about drinking Jack Daniels, and there was the little 12 year old brother playing with crocodiles in the moat! And two big crocs attacking each other. The 16 year old girl jumped in to play too. I told her she was nuts, especially because there were hippos and jackals, sometimes the hippos would eat the jackals by impaling them with there beaks.
Next dream I can remember was kind of lucid. I was a female friend of the warden of a prison who happened to be Tom Selleck. I broke in through some real ninja like moves, very smart, got some kind of hard drives from Selleck, and broke back out again in a janitorial disguise.
Next dream I can remember was kind of lucid. I was a female friend of the warden of a prison who happened to be Tom Selleck. I broke in through some real ninja like moves, very smart, got some kind of hard drives from Selleck, and broke back out again in a janitorial disguise.
Monday, October 19, 2009
New Gifts, New Teachers, 10/19
I wish to start today at the end so I can remember back to the beginning as much as possible, but before I do, I must explain how I fell to sleep.
As I couldn't sleep and had much energy, I didn't attempt until 4 am. I laid there for a while, but it was far from uneventful. I had been reading Siddhartha before falling asleep and I could feel my past lives trying to push through into my body. Well, one in particular, a Samana wanted to come through, especially as I was reading the part about Gotoma or the Buddha. I thought this was interesting and texted my friend that we must do the past life regression we had been talking about doing recently.
As I attempted sleep, my energy and mind were working in one, and I was exploring the thoughts and knowledge stored in my energy body, almost unconsciously. I was allowing the words and feelings to come through, subtly, and responding to them as subtly. Then, as I was identifying where in my energy field other voices besides mine were coming from and trying to intuitively feel where they were coming from in space/time, a voice very clearly came to me and said, "What do you want to know?" It was much more direct and real then the rest, in that it came louder, directly into my third eye chakra, and made my brow furrow, as in my muscles move involuntarily, which is a common sign. Well, I did not get upset, I did get quiet and kind of stopped communication with everything cause of fear I guess, but when I calmed my nerves a tad I said, clairvoyance, and if there was a why or I manufactured it, I answered, "Because time is an illusion. My past lives and my future lives are all really happening simultaneously and I should be able to talk to them."
Shortly after that, I began my first sleep. I think I will try to recall the basics of that first sleep. It was a prophetic one, in that, I could feel myself sleeping. When I awoke 1 hr 45 min later, my whole body was energized. I was vibrating. So, that is usually a sign, vibrations in the dreams and on awakening. I somehow dreamed about being taught to use certain powers. I'm not sure by who at first. Later on, I applied the magic learned to dealing with aliens from another planet, who thought mostly like "buggers" in Ender's Game, but that was after my wake break. I believe I was taught to be in tuned with things, to feel them, to be able to read reality before it happens. I was learning how to apply a deliberate clairvoyant quality to the growing strength of it. Including peoples thoughts, actions, and outcomes. I'm sorry I don't remember more, these dreams are often very clear, but I would have needed to write it down when I had gotten up.
Then, after going back to sleep, I dreamed about fighting off the aliens, like I said, and I was one of the last surviving humans. Since they thought as a collective, I could read the thoughts of the collective to get a better understanding of there plan of action, etc, so I was instrumental. I find this interesting, because, before I went to sleep, I explored my soul and realized I am more of a pacifist than I thought (this was before reading Siddhartha, actually while watching Tenacious D) which I was surprised at, but I have no desire to fight anyone for any reason. Not even a bar fight. Not even if China was attacking us. I'd really have to think if it was worth while to defend myself.
So, what I can remember after the wake break, is Ben I believe was there and he was helping teach me how to use my powers, and I was teaching him how I used them. I imagine its very individual. But I could be wrong. In any case, on waking I described it to myself as the "3, 2, 1 contact" approach. Because it is taking the seemingly fractured nature of the universe and bridging it to the now or the universal. The most I can remember is, its like seeing something with 2 eyes, and then that is put together or consolidated or whathaveyou in the third eye, and then, contact would be the crown chakra, I suppose. In any case, there were break throughs made. There was a contact made in the first part of the night. I discovered a spiritual teacher who will help make my dreams more prophetic, more zen too.
And yesterday I learned that challenging the energy in my aura is how I find knowledge, from psychological to spiritual to, even, supernatural.
As I couldn't sleep and had much energy, I didn't attempt until 4 am. I laid there for a while, but it was far from uneventful. I had been reading Siddhartha before falling asleep and I could feel my past lives trying to push through into my body. Well, one in particular, a Samana wanted to come through, especially as I was reading the part about Gotoma or the Buddha. I thought this was interesting and texted my friend that we must do the past life regression we had been talking about doing recently.
As I attempted sleep, my energy and mind were working in one, and I was exploring the thoughts and knowledge stored in my energy body, almost unconsciously. I was allowing the words and feelings to come through, subtly, and responding to them as subtly. Then, as I was identifying where in my energy field other voices besides mine were coming from and trying to intuitively feel where they were coming from in space/time, a voice very clearly came to me and said, "What do you want to know?" It was much more direct and real then the rest, in that it came louder, directly into my third eye chakra, and made my brow furrow, as in my muscles move involuntarily, which is a common sign. Well, I did not get upset, I did get quiet and kind of stopped communication with everything cause of fear I guess, but when I calmed my nerves a tad I said, clairvoyance, and if there was a why or I manufactured it, I answered, "Because time is an illusion. My past lives and my future lives are all really happening simultaneously and I should be able to talk to them."
Shortly after that, I began my first sleep. I think I will try to recall the basics of that first sleep. It was a prophetic one, in that, I could feel myself sleeping. When I awoke 1 hr 45 min later, my whole body was energized. I was vibrating. So, that is usually a sign, vibrations in the dreams and on awakening. I somehow dreamed about being taught to use certain powers. I'm not sure by who at first. Later on, I applied the magic learned to dealing with aliens from another planet, who thought mostly like "buggers" in Ender's Game, but that was after my wake break. I believe I was taught to be in tuned with things, to feel them, to be able to read reality before it happens. I was learning how to apply a deliberate clairvoyant quality to the growing strength of it. Including peoples thoughts, actions, and outcomes. I'm sorry I don't remember more, these dreams are often very clear, but I would have needed to write it down when I had gotten up.
Then, after going back to sleep, I dreamed about fighting off the aliens, like I said, and I was one of the last surviving humans. Since they thought as a collective, I could read the thoughts of the collective to get a better understanding of there plan of action, etc, so I was instrumental. I find this interesting, because, before I went to sleep, I explored my soul and realized I am more of a pacifist than I thought (this was before reading Siddhartha, actually while watching Tenacious D) which I was surprised at, but I have no desire to fight anyone for any reason. Not even a bar fight. Not even if China was attacking us. I'd really have to think if it was worth while to defend myself.
So, what I can remember after the wake break, is Ben I believe was there and he was helping teach me how to use my powers, and I was teaching him how I used them. I imagine its very individual. But I could be wrong. In any case, on waking I described it to myself as the "3, 2, 1 contact" approach. Because it is taking the seemingly fractured nature of the universe and bridging it to the now or the universal. The most I can remember is, its like seeing something with 2 eyes, and then that is put together or consolidated or whathaveyou in the third eye, and then, contact would be the crown chakra, I suppose. In any case, there were break throughs made. There was a contact made in the first part of the night. I discovered a spiritual teacher who will help make my dreams more prophetic, more zen too.
And yesterday I learned that challenging the energy in my aura is how I find knowledge, from psychological to spiritual to, even, supernatural.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A Path, 10/18
From what I can recall, I was in some kind of school or something, but we were living in the woods. I had my own little hut, Ben was there and he had his. I think I was some kind of talent there, because I felt well respected.
I remember being hungry, probably cause I was, and I remember the time was 12:33, which was then the time that I woke up a little later.
Ben and I were on the other side of this wood, and we were walking to our huts through these fields and woods. There was a clear path leading the whole way there for the most part. He was saying that at his age, he thought everything would be hunky dory. He said he thought that he'd be at 200% and there'd be clouds and cards in the sky (poker was a repetitive theme.) And I said, maybe much later in life, but not your mid-20's. And then we had walked back to our huts.
I remember being hungry, probably cause I was, and I remember the time was 12:33, which was then the time that I woke up a little later.
Ben and I were on the other side of this wood, and we were walking to our huts through these fields and woods. There was a clear path leading the whole way there for the most part. He was saying that at his age, he thought everything would be hunky dory. He said he thought that he'd be at 200% and there'd be clouds and cards in the sky (poker was a repetitive theme.) And I said, maybe much later in life, but not your mid-20's. And then we had walked back to our huts.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Old Classmates, small rave, Catholic Church, 10/15
Last night, it will be difficult for me to keep everything in order. I will try to recall my last three dream sequences.
First, I was in a slum kind of downtown. I remember now, it was on the far west side, like hell's kitchen but further downtwon, of manhattan. There was some kind of school there and I was telling people how that isn't the best part of town, but its not so bad. I went there and wanted to throw some kind of rave. But there wasn't any electric circuits. Or so I was told. I found two on the side of the building, but it was tough to get them to work, if they even did. There was a small field beside there that the rave was going to be in. A small grass lot, like where kids could play football. Everything was between fairly beat up buildings.
But after plugging in the lights, I wanted to tell if they worked and the field had become a pool filled with water. I was going to dip my desk lamp in the pool to see if anyone got electrocuted, then I would know the plug worked. It worked.
Next somehow, I remember being in Sacred Heart Bascillica with my old classmates. We are all 28 now, and we are eating at a banquet table long ways down the aisle, with a few people at the head on the first part of the altar area, including Tim Staub and Mike Noel. Bigger Tim is NE of me and further down is the pastor. One I have never seen before. Tim gets up and proselytizes about the lives of those on the altar, about how they are still looking for love and that. Tim S says, "I wish he would just be quiet, I don't want to hear this." And I am laughing to myself. I guess I feel a little superior, I mostly just feel like an outsider at my own reunion. The priest looks upset by the whole thing.
Then we jump to the inside of the building where I got the outside electricity for the "pool party." On the inside, I have almost no room. Its a slum house. I have a kitchen/work bench with like hot plates and stuff, and a large eating area. I visit my neighbor, he is on top of where the rave/pool land used to be. He explains how he doesn't have any room. (There is a very strange part between there with sci fi hook ups to computers, video games, and somebody OH Dallas made me jump out of a moving car, he wouldn't stop for me, and I think that's how I ended up living there). He has a family I believe and he needed to throw out some soda cans, but some were full too. I went through, because I told him I could keep them. It was the size of a case of beer, and while throwing out the old and open ones, and keeping the good ones, i found a decent amount of money. A lot for poor people like us. I told him to look inside, that we had a few good cans left, and what else did he see. I was hoping he would split it with me. I get the feeling he did. The inside of his house became a grass field again with a tree in the middle NW from me. I think i started throwing a football to somebody and that is all I can remember.
First, I was in a slum kind of downtown. I remember now, it was on the far west side, like hell's kitchen but further downtwon, of manhattan. There was some kind of school there and I was telling people how that isn't the best part of town, but its not so bad. I went there and wanted to throw some kind of rave. But there wasn't any electric circuits. Or so I was told. I found two on the side of the building, but it was tough to get them to work, if they even did. There was a small field beside there that the rave was going to be in. A small grass lot, like where kids could play football. Everything was between fairly beat up buildings.
But after plugging in the lights, I wanted to tell if they worked and the field had become a pool filled with water. I was going to dip my desk lamp in the pool to see if anyone got electrocuted, then I would know the plug worked. It worked.
Next somehow, I remember being in Sacred Heart Bascillica with my old classmates. We are all 28 now, and we are eating at a banquet table long ways down the aisle, with a few people at the head on the first part of the altar area, including Tim Staub and Mike Noel. Bigger Tim is NE of me and further down is the pastor. One I have never seen before. Tim gets up and proselytizes about the lives of those on the altar, about how they are still looking for love and that. Tim S says, "I wish he would just be quiet, I don't want to hear this." And I am laughing to myself. I guess I feel a little superior, I mostly just feel like an outsider at my own reunion. The priest looks upset by the whole thing.
Then we jump to the inside of the building where I got the outside electricity for the "pool party." On the inside, I have almost no room. Its a slum house. I have a kitchen/work bench with like hot plates and stuff, and a large eating area. I visit my neighbor, he is on top of where the rave/pool land used to be. He explains how he doesn't have any room. (There is a very strange part between there with sci fi hook ups to computers, video games, and somebody OH Dallas made me jump out of a moving car, he wouldn't stop for me, and I think that's how I ended up living there). He has a family I believe and he needed to throw out some soda cans, but some were full too. I went through, because I told him I could keep them. It was the size of a case of beer, and while throwing out the old and open ones, and keeping the good ones, i found a decent amount of money. A lot for poor people like us. I told him to look inside, that we had a few good cans left, and what else did he see. I was hoping he would split it with me. I get the feeling he did. The inside of his house became a grass field again with a tree in the middle NW from me. I think i started throwing a football to somebody and that is all I can remember.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Wow!!! Friday October 9th, 2009
Last night was one for the ages. I am going to try to remember as much as possible. It was in two parts.
First off, I didn't sleep well the night before so getting to sleep was a little difficult, especially because I'm out of Melatonin apparently. I haven't had trouble sleeping in a while. Not positive the reasons, but I believe it is tied to a rise in psychic energy.
Last night, sleeping started off difficult. I dreamed about trying to get Pandora Internet Radio station to play a good song or a certain type of song. I speculate this is my subconscious trying to put myself into a good dream state or saying I want good people in my life. When I do fall asleep. This is what I see.
Josh Neal is telling me about a wonderful place on the planet he visited in his travels (if anyone does ever read this, Josh travels the world about 3 months a year. He has been to India, and South America most recently.). The place was an energy center of the world/universe. A nerve center where people can go to be healed, lifted up, and empowered on an energetic/spiritual level. He told me about it. He showed me video (he works on films) of people dancing and having a great time. The place is underground somehow, and its a holy place with a Buddhist shrine dedicated to the land. This place, I somehow understand and believe, was not always a strong place, but the strong places on the planet somehow move, and are connected in a stream or river of universal energy to other energy centers, and sometimes they flow downstream. But this place is of a huge importance and was labeled centuries ago by Buddhist spiritualists.
In this video, we see Joanne from Telesma dancing a beautiful dance. I'm watching the video with someone and we recognize her. Then, there is a short interview with her outside the place of holys.
I suppose it is at this point where I decide I want to go there. So, I travel to India where this place is (totally not sure its in India.) And there is a graduating class there. All on a grandstand, someone is giving a speech. It is beside the spot, but I don't know how to get in, I don't know how to get underground. Someone directs me to a poster or something beside the grandstand. It is like the graduates memories, different photographs they assembled to reflect there experiences, I now believe, in the sanctuary. Joanne finds me, she helps me by lowering me slowly towards the ground. After some tries, it breaks. I figure out I was pushing too hard.
I am now in the magical place. If feels like an energy fountain. The word fountainhead came to mind. There is an old shrine there in front of me. I am bowing before it. I can feel this force. But I don't know what to do with it! It is overwhelming. I can feel this force like I am awake, not like I am dreaming. I turn around and there is this underground stream (maybe?). In any case I get the idea to eat down there. I ask the consciousness of the place to explain to me thoroughly step by step how I go about this. Somewhere in the cosmos something snickers, but I know I am doing the right thing by asking. I am getting closer to the source then processed food. I want to catch a fish, but I don't know how. I go back to the grandstand with the graduates who are graduating, and thankfully, Joanne is still on the end, and I ask her to help me. There is a stream right beside the graduates, she uses a line, like she let me down with, to get a fish out of it. She actually coaxed it with magical intentions onto the line. She manifested it. She pulled it out and warmly gave it to me. It was hard to control, because it was like a little fish about 1.5 the size of my hand, but the hard part was it had crab like legs attached to the side of its body. So it kind of poked at me. I could feel this sleeping too. So I dropped it and grabbed it a couple times. It would have been creapy, but I knew it was not negative or bad. I took the fish down to the altar and was about to eat it at the point of all points, when I woke up.
I ate a hemp brownie, drank some milk, and marveled at what I know to be a factual dream of real substance. This place exists. This kind of thing happens. It will happen to me.
I went back to sleep and this time, I was in that area with my friend Josh Perkins and someone else. The graduate was gone, but there was a bar around the same place above ground. Someone else was with us, but I don't know who. We were hanging out. I don't know if this was before or after what I describe next.
I went back underground, and the altar was open. There were people hanging around outside and where the wall and altar was, there was a couple of guys giving healing, reiki like ceremonies to people. They definitely called it a ceremony. People were in front of me, and there was a lot of fun and good times, people jumping around there friends, goofing off. The man healing on the table and the guy behind him knitting little wool purses I believe were both from Telesma too. A few people went, and when it was my turn, I walked up. He started to do a ceremony on me. And I will tell you, I have never felt such a strong force of oneness with my environment. It was incredible, the sensation was nearly difficult to control. I was in the life stream of this gaia consciousness. I visualized I was in a corn field and I could feel the corn all around me. This went on for a while. I could definitely feel this like being awake. Other people when they were done huddled in behind the altar and hung out, I came out of it and was on a brick sidewalk, crying and thanking god and bowing to whoever had help me experience such a wonderful and important experience. I am truly grateful even now to have been in such a place and experienced so much. I believe the parts with Perkins happened after this.
I would like to note that the Telesma guys were the two guys on the outermost part of the band when I saw them, and the girl was in the center. I find this somehow symbolic. I can't wait to see them and talk to them again. I pray I will have the strength to make this world whole again. With help from millions of friends.
First off, I didn't sleep well the night before so getting to sleep was a little difficult, especially because I'm out of Melatonin apparently. I haven't had trouble sleeping in a while. Not positive the reasons, but I believe it is tied to a rise in psychic energy.
Last night, sleeping started off difficult. I dreamed about trying to get Pandora Internet Radio station to play a good song or a certain type of song. I speculate this is my subconscious trying to put myself into a good dream state or saying I want good people in my life. When I do fall asleep. This is what I see.
Josh Neal is telling me about a wonderful place on the planet he visited in his travels (if anyone does ever read this, Josh travels the world about 3 months a year. He has been to India, and South America most recently.). The place was an energy center of the world/universe. A nerve center where people can go to be healed, lifted up, and empowered on an energetic/spiritual level. He told me about it. He showed me video (he works on films) of people dancing and having a great time. The place is underground somehow, and its a holy place with a Buddhist shrine dedicated to the land. This place, I somehow understand and believe, was not always a strong place, but the strong places on the planet somehow move, and are connected in a stream or river of universal energy to other energy centers, and sometimes they flow downstream. But this place is of a huge importance and was labeled centuries ago by Buddhist spiritualists.
In this video, we see Joanne from Telesma dancing a beautiful dance. I'm watching the video with someone and we recognize her. Then, there is a short interview with her outside the place of holys.
I suppose it is at this point where I decide I want to go there. So, I travel to India where this place is (totally not sure its in India.) And there is a graduating class there. All on a grandstand, someone is giving a speech. It is beside the spot, but I don't know how to get in, I don't know how to get underground. Someone directs me to a poster or something beside the grandstand. It is like the graduates memories, different photographs they assembled to reflect there experiences, I now believe, in the sanctuary. Joanne finds me, she helps me by lowering me slowly towards the ground. After some tries, it breaks. I figure out I was pushing too hard.
I am now in the magical place. If feels like an energy fountain. The word fountainhead came to mind. There is an old shrine there in front of me. I am bowing before it. I can feel this force. But I don't know what to do with it! It is overwhelming. I can feel this force like I am awake, not like I am dreaming. I turn around and there is this underground stream (maybe?). In any case I get the idea to eat down there. I ask the consciousness of the place to explain to me thoroughly step by step how I go about this. Somewhere in the cosmos something snickers, but I know I am doing the right thing by asking. I am getting closer to the source then processed food. I want to catch a fish, but I don't know how. I go back to the grandstand with the graduates who are graduating, and thankfully, Joanne is still on the end, and I ask her to help me. There is a stream right beside the graduates, she uses a line, like she let me down with, to get a fish out of it. She actually coaxed it with magical intentions onto the line. She manifested it. She pulled it out and warmly gave it to me. It was hard to control, because it was like a little fish about 1.5 the size of my hand, but the hard part was it had crab like legs attached to the side of its body. So it kind of poked at me. I could feel this sleeping too. So I dropped it and grabbed it a couple times. It would have been creapy, but I knew it was not negative or bad. I took the fish down to the altar and was about to eat it at the point of all points, when I woke up.
I ate a hemp brownie, drank some milk, and marveled at what I know to be a factual dream of real substance. This place exists. This kind of thing happens. It will happen to me.
I went back to sleep and this time, I was in that area with my friend Josh Perkins and someone else. The graduate was gone, but there was a bar around the same place above ground. Someone else was with us, but I don't know who. We were hanging out. I don't know if this was before or after what I describe next.
I went back underground, and the altar was open. There were people hanging around outside and where the wall and altar was, there was a couple of guys giving healing, reiki like ceremonies to people. They definitely called it a ceremony. People were in front of me, and there was a lot of fun and good times, people jumping around there friends, goofing off. The man healing on the table and the guy behind him knitting little wool purses I believe were both from Telesma too. A few people went, and when it was my turn, I walked up. He started to do a ceremony on me. And I will tell you, I have never felt such a strong force of oneness with my environment. It was incredible, the sensation was nearly difficult to control. I was in the life stream of this gaia consciousness. I visualized I was in a corn field and I could feel the corn all around me. This went on for a while. I could definitely feel this like being awake. Other people when they were done huddled in behind the altar and hung out, I came out of it and was on a brick sidewalk, crying and thanking god and bowing to whoever had help me experience such a wonderful and important experience. I am truly grateful even now to have been in such a place and experienced so much. I believe the parts with Perkins happened after this.
I would like to note that the Telesma guys were the two guys on the outermost part of the band when I saw them, and the girl was in the center. I find this somehow symbolic. I can't wait to see them and talk to them again. I pray I will have the strength to make this world whole again. With help from millions of friends.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Way Behind
Last night I didn't sleep too well. I've been sleeping too much. But ever since the dreams about throwing festivals ended a week ago, finally, by sleeping by a burning camp fire in a scary woods, I have been happy to stay in bed.
My next prophetic dream was I had gotten into NYU Grad. I was so excited! I was running around telling my classmates, "Isn't this awesome!? We are in NYU!" I woke up really excited to go, but I think I'm afraid to fail, cause that was 5 days ago and I haven't applied yet.
I dreamed about other stuff, but that's the only important one. I will try to keep up with it for myself. Literally.
My next prophetic dream was I had gotten into NYU Grad. I was so excited! I was running around telling my classmates, "Isn't this awesome!? We are in NYU!" I woke up really excited to go, but I think I'm afraid to fail, cause that was 5 days ago and I haven't applied yet.
I dreamed about other stuff, but that's the only important one. I will try to keep up with it for myself. Literally.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Fire in the Bathroom, 9/24
Last night I dreamed again about a festival. This time it was at Elicker's Grove, but we had been there for five or six years, we were up to six thousand people and they were expanding it so we could come back, because we had to go elsewhere for room.
In the beginning, it was very hectic. Things were crazy, there was a fire in the second pavilion, which later became a swimming pool in front of Rich and the horse farm. The bands were connected to surge protectors which kept touching an outlet and catching fire. But the band was good. It ended up being a DJ. I remember a guy introduced himself to me and was surprised I didn't know who he was, the talent. Then they were on stage and they were pretty good. Then the fire happened, and I was like "Whats that smell?" I disovered it and blew it out but it happened again. That was the most real part of the whole dream. Then I was up by the first (real) pavilion. This was late at night, like 3-4am. And Tanay was coming out of her house and we looked down and the second pavilion was blown over and almost blowing into disappearing. But she didn't care. We went down there and it was a pool. And everyone was swimming. There was a point in this one where the sun was coming up and Gary or Wesley was surprised. Then I showed Tanay what we were doing, we were building slides around the second stage in which to make the pool surround it, so that there was a little pool in the back. To do that, I had to move some trains and tracks, which I did bare handed I think. So we did that, and it was a beautiful day by now. Time is relatively linear in this dream.
Then I woke up and it was 10 am.
When I went back to sleep, me and a bunch of people who were in a hotel were getting everything out of the grove/hotel and packing it in cars and getting on the road. It was already about four on a saturday or sunday, but the front desk said we could hang till we got all our stuff. The first car left and called about an hour later off of route 80 to tell us there was a traffic stop to stash anything and that it would take a long time. So I found a computer and reworked our way home.
That's about all I remember. Another festival, but a really good one. Successful in a lot of ways. Too crazy, but Tanay didn't mind, so, whatever I guess.
In the beginning, it was very hectic. Things were crazy, there was a fire in the second pavilion, which later became a swimming pool in front of Rich and the horse farm. The bands were connected to surge protectors which kept touching an outlet and catching fire. But the band was good. It ended up being a DJ. I remember a guy introduced himself to me and was surprised I didn't know who he was, the talent. Then they were on stage and they were pretty good. Then the fire happened, and I was like "Whats that smell?" I disovered it and blew it out but it happened again. That was the most real part of the whole dream. Then I was up by the first (real) pavilion. This was late at night, like 3-4am. And Tanay was coming out of her house and we looked down and the second pavilion was blown over and almost blowing into disappearing. But she didn't care. We went down there and it was a pool. And everyone was swimming. There was a point in this one where the sun was coming up and Gary or Wesley was surprised. Then I showed Tanay what we were doing, we were building slides around the second stage in which to make the pool surround it, so that there was a little pool in the back. To do that, I had to move some trains and tracks, which I did bare handed I think. So we did that, and it was a beautiful day by now. Time is relatively linear in this dream.
Then I woke up and it was 10 am.
When I went back to sleep, me and a bunch of people who were in a hotel were getting everything out of the grove/hotel and packing it in cars and getting on the road. It was already about four on a saturday or sunday, but the front desk said we could hang till we got all our stuff. The first car left and called about an hour later off of route 80 to tell us there was a traffic stop to stash anything and that it would take a long time. So I found a computer and reworked our way home.
That's about all I remember. Another festival, but a really good one. Successful in a lot of ways. Too crazy, but Tanay didn't mind, so, whatever I guess.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Shaman Convention, 9/23
I dreamed I was at s Shaman Convention with a lot of shamans that were supposed to teach me stuff. This was after watching David Wilcox, which I think is bullshit. I was only shown one thing that made any sense. I was shown how to get out of a bind. I shook my left hand very hard and then did something, than spun around 15 times. It was fun I guess. Otherwise, I didn't learned anything, and walked around wasting my time for the most part. I could barely sleep too, maybe that's why I didn't learn anything.
Wilcox has some interesting thngs, but most of it doesn't teach me too much.
ps. I remember asking someone after seeing there high socks what year it was, "1989?". They said, "1979!" And I said, "Even better." There was also a couple, a large kind of arrogant dude with a sad inner temperment. His wife/girlfriend and I kept messing around while walking around and stuff. I guess I was bored. When I'm bored in my dreams I always try to have sex. She wouldn't have sex with me though, which is typical. But at the end before I woke up, he was pissed. Cornered me in a room, and then confronted me with what he got off of her. I corroborated most of her story except that we had made out once before I hung out with him and her a little bit. Obviously, I couldn't be sure of that since dream time isn't sure. He got mad and when she walked back into the room, held a knife to her throat. I followed with a sword. I could have chopped his head off before he hurt her if I used zen, but my legs got slow, like my jeans tightened to the point of I couldn't walk. So I just woke up.
Wilcox has some interesting thngs, but most of it doesn't teach me too much.
ps. I remember asking someone after seeing there high socks what year it was, "1989?". They said, "1979!" And I said, "Even better." There was also a couple, a large kind of arrogant dude with a sad inner temperment. His wife/girlfriend and I kept messing around while walking around and stuff. I guess I was bored. When I'm bored in my dreams I always try to have sex. She wouldn't have sex with me though, which is typical. But at the end before I woke up, he was pissed. Cornered me in a room, and then confronted me with what he got off of her. I corroborated most of her story except that we had made out once before I hung out with him and her a little bit. Obviously, I couldn't be sure of that since dream time isn't sure. He got mad and when she walked back into the room, held a knife to her throat. I followed with a sword. I could have chopped his head off before he hurt her if I used zen, but my legs got slow, like my jeans tightened to the point of I couldn't walk. So I just woke up.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
9/21 and 9/22
On 9/21 I dreamed that I did another festival. I always dream I am creating festivals now. Festivals that go extremely well. Festivals where everyone has fun. Festivals, festivals, festivals. This time, I dreamed I was in charge of another festival in Colorado, I think. Boulder is the feeling I got.
But this festival didn't feel so good. This festival was a mess. With people not doing what they were supposed to, wasting lots of time, and generally making it not run very smoothly. I was freaking out and my new friend Andrew Brunt was there, and I commented to him, "This dream doesn't feel like my other festival dreams. It feels different. And difficult. And its somewhere else." That somewhere I believe is Boulder. It felt like I was going to do this new festival when I woke up at some time. Sometime, I am meant to do this festival...And it will take a toll on me.
9/22 I slept and dreamed of being in a club in NYC? I think. I was there and I don't remember lots of this, but I looked up and on the wall was a 3-D image, like those guitar picks, of a poster or posting of an upcoming show. I didn't realize this was a dream at all and I wanted to see who was playing when. It was STS9 and they were playing soon. And I tried really hard to remember where. I thought it was Maine. I looked on there website and this new years they are playing in CO. They are also playing in CT at one point and that's about as close as they get to Maine. I am supposed to go to there concerts.
Then, I started to dream of doing a massive art project, once I realized people could walk through the air. I did a beautiful version of Romeo and Juliet, completely in water, like a syncronized swimming, with all the audience floating above. It was a massive project. Then I oversaw my brother's massive theater project, probably Weseley. And then, all my siblings were of a supreme intelligence. They were manipulative. They were geniuses. And we all wanted to fall in love. Eventually, the spot where I had the play and probably a festival at one time! became like a resort. A disney world of sorts. And they put me on a very high tower, overlooking all of this land that I had helped add my mark too. I think I might have married. Or I was alone, but I could see and feel my siblings as they attempted to get people to love them. But I was left alone.
But this festival didn't feel so good. This festival was a mess. With people not doing what they were supposed to, wasting lots of time, and generally making it not run very smoothly. I was freaking out and my new friend Andrew Brunt was there, and I commented to him, "This dream doesn't feel like my other festival dreams. It feels different. And difficult. And its somewhere else." That somewhere I believe is Boulder. It felt like I was going to do this new festival when I woke up at some time. Sometime, I am meant to do this festival...And it will take a toll on me.
9/22 I slept and dreamed of being in a club in NYC? I think. I was there and I don't remember lots of this, but I looked up and on the wall was a 3-D image, like those guitar picks, of a poster or posting of an upcoming show. I didn't realize this was a dream at all and I wanted to see who was playing when. It was STS9 and they were playing soon. And I tried really hard to remember where. I thought it was Maine. I looked on there website and this new years they are playing in CO. They are also playing in CT at one point and that's about as close as they get to Maine. I am supposed to go to there concerts.
Then, I started to dream of doing a massive art project, once I realized people could walk through the air. I did a beautiful version of Romeo and Juliet, completely in water, like a syncronized swimming, with all the audience floating above. It was a massive project. Then I oversaw my brother's massive theater project, probably Weseley. And then, all my siblings were of a supreme intelligence. They were manipulative. They were geniuses. And we all wanted to fall in love. Eventually, the spot where I had the play and probably a festival at one time! became like a resort. A disney world of sorts. And they put me on a very high tower, overlooking all of this land that I had helped add my mark too. I think I might have married. Or I was alone, but I could see and feel my siblings as they attempted to get people to love them. But I was left alone.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Happiness
I remember why I originally wanted to post! Fear of success is something I don't understand, because the fear runs so deep I can barely feel it. BUT- fear of happiness is something I can really relate to on a moment to moment level and THAT I think I can achieve because its easily identifiable.
So, from now on, that's what I'm going to work on. Happiness. Just that, simple.
So, from now on, that's what I'm going to work on. Happiness. Just that, simple.
Been A While
I'm kind of happy I'm the only one who follows this. I've been seeing the shaman. But life is awesome. I'm getting better. But I think I've reached an impasse where its hard to help my self so much and I need the professional help of the shaman. In any case I'm still getting better and things are going well. I've got my meds and herbal pills and they all help. I've got flowers. I've got to get away from drugs, alcohol and sex. Those are my negative hang ons. Its one of these things I've got to do. I'm seriously working on it.
In any case, my therapist wants to sleep with me, so she'll love when I tell her that. Keep her confused.
Any way, lots of love.
In any case, my therapist wants to sleep with me, so she'll love when I tell her that. Keep her confused.
Any way, lots of love.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Dream Vision
I dreamt lightly last night. In the dream, I had to be alone and in control of my thoughts to sleep. I didn't sleep well. In the future, global warming will be a real and often occurrence. I saw snow a foot of snow on the ground, and the next day, the weather was in the 50's and it was all gone.
People will be seperated from each other. They will have limited human to human interaction. This is sad, I guess, but the feeling I got was clinical or antiseptic.
THese are my dreams today. I have skipped much information. If I feel compelled I will write it down.
People will be seperated from each other. They will have limited human to human interaction. This is sad, I guess, but the feeling I got was clinical or antiseptic.
THese are my dreams today. I have skipped much information. If I feel compelled I will write it down.
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